“Every one of us must undertake an apprenticeship with sorrow. We must learn the art and craft of grief, discover the profound ways it ripens and deepens us.”
— Francis Weller, The Wild Edge of Sorrow
And yet, in today’s Western societal model, many of us find ourselves without a place and space to grieve. Unfamiliarized with grief itself, hosting an aversion to the matter, seeking to get through and past it as quickly as we can to return to work, to life, to normal. Whether it be the loss of a friend or friendship, the loss of a lifestyle you envisioned panning out for yourself, the death of a pet or loved one, a relationship ending, or an ancestral wound too tender to touch.
Grief is an irrevocable facet of the human experience, and how we choose to interface with it (or not) has a profound impact on how we deepen into life.
Our ancestors understood the importance of grief and ritual. Some of the earliest human burials suggest that ceremony and mourning have accompanied death for thousands of years. Ancient songs, art, and artifacts depict grief; even elephants have been observed returning to the remains of dead members of their social groups.
And what of us dwelling in this contemporary existence?
My father slipped into depression after losing three brothers, one after another. When he brought up the emotions that were plaguing him to his physician, he was prescribed SSRIs that he would remain on for over two decades.
Bereavement leave, when it is available at all, often provides only a brief period of time for someone to grieve the death of an immediate family member—and may offer nothing for the loss of a friend, relationship, pet, way of life, or the many other experiences that can invoke profound grief.
Our society has placed much of the emphasis of our existence on productivity and outcome, neglecting the essential truth that we are soulful, sacred beings on a journey that reflects that.
For productivity and outcome, grief, by all means, is something we are better off avoiding and quickly getting over.
For the musings of the soul, however, grief functions as an intelligent and essential element of our becoming.
Psilocybin experiences can sometimes bring grief to the surface in unexpected ways.
This thing happens sometimes when we take mushrooms where that little gnawing feeling that has been lingering and lurking underneath the surface unfurls with a sigh of victory and relief, feigning complacency no longer, released from the grips of suppression. And instead of taking backseat or basement space to what we are willing to confront, it shows itself to us in its unapologetic full expression.
It can be little, recent, or old and vast; it can show us its relation to our shortness or abruptness to a passing stranger, or it can reveal its hand in the evolution of long-standing anxiety that grips us.
Not always, but sometimes, we take the mushroom hoping for a fun journey and end up unleashing the grief reservoir inside of us to be felt, witnessed, and alchemized and this is by design.
Research is beginning to explore the relationship between psychedelic experiences and grief.
One 2023 study involving 363 people who had experienced bereavement and later used a psychedelic found that participants retrospectively reported improvements in grief symptoms following the experience. Those who experienced what researchers called an “emotional breakthrough” reported greater improvements in their grief.
These findings offer an interesting early look at the potential relationship between psychedelic experiences and the processing of grief. However, they do not establish psychedelics as a treatment for grief. More controlled research is needed to understand their potential benefits, risks, and limitations.
There is also the role of the mystery in life, grief, and mushrooms.
We are, at best, living inside of and participating with a mystery—and set to return to one when we have completed our journeys here.
We have grown accustomed to tracking, planning, “knowing” all of the answers, which works wonderfully for part of reality. The other side of this is the unknowable, ungraspable, always undulating and ever-changing mystery.
If you’re reading this, some of the best, dazzling, most surprising, and heart-opening experiences are still ahead of you. Some you know of, and some you don’t.
Mushrooms have a way of helping us return to the essence of mystery, which can be one of the most profound aspects of a medicine journey—and this journey of life in general.
Plant medicine and psilocybin, in particular, for the sake of our discussion here, can profoundly alter perception, emotion, and our usual patterns of thought. These shifts may allow some people to encounter elements of the mysteries of life, grief, and death from perspectives that feel less accessible in ordinary states of consciousness.
Those who came long before us seemed to be wary of the potency and necessity of this and left traces of this, perhaps for us to remember.
Opening up, in any capacity in which we are able, to the mystery, to our own grief, the grief of others, and the grief of the world seems to be a fundamental component in our journey of existing and becoming.
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